Ask Allison #11!

Hi folx! If you read Ask Allison #1, you know this is a space where I post questions asked to me anonymously and answer them. Thanks to those of you who've asked me questions this week!

Dear Allison,

Why do people have sex? I get that it makes babies and we have to continue our genetic line, but why is it such a * thing *?

Sincerely,

Mystified by Mammals

Dear Mystified by Mammals,

Why do birds sing? Why does the sun shine? Well, those may have their own reasons, but the point I'm trying to make is that it's what makes our world go 'round! I'll give you a few different reasons humans have sex and why we're able to capitalize on it.

1- Biology

As you mentioned in your question, we use sex for procreation, or continuing our species. Biologically, we have something called libido (some call it "sex drive" - sex is not necessary for individual human survival, no matter what anyone tells you! So I prefer to use the term "drive" for things like hunger, thirst, etc. because they're what drive us to eat, find water, etc. and do what's necessary for us to keep existing) and it impacts a large number of our thought processes and behaviors. In short, for the biological reason, humans have sex because our brains are literally programmed to want to. The only exception to this reason is people who identify as asexual, who naturally don't feel a pull to engage in sexual behavior at any point in their lives. It's totally normal to not ever want sex or ever feel attracted to anyone.

2- Pleasure

One of the biggest reasons humans ever do anything without a monetary payout is because it feels great. We have something in our brains we call the limbic system - it's basically a brain-matter machine that gives us happy chemicals when we do something we like. Think of it like training an animal (or child) to engage in behavior you want. A dog probably won't roll over just to roll over; you've likely enticed them to do that behavior by having a cookie in your hand that they would like to have in their mouth, and when they roll over, they have learned they get said cookie. It works the same way in humans, except our brains largely account for the cookie-giving, in most cases. Our bodies are wired for pleasure in many ways, sexual function just being one of them. In fact, the clitoris's only function is pleasure! So, why would we be born with an entire piece of our genitals, which consists of about 8,000 nerve endings, for no reason!? The answer is pleasure! We try touching ourselves when we're young (asexual folx accepted), we figure out that feels pretty great, and our brain rewards us for finding that out by dumping yay-chemicals like dopamine, seratonin, oxytocin, and hormones into our bloodstream which get picked up by tiny receptors in our brain, reinforcing that limbic system cycle. It happens in a similar way when we eat foods we love, especially sugar, do fun and rewarding activities, and exercise. So sex is just something our brain has been wired to really really like, which is why so many people do it.

3- Sex sells

Because our brains know we love pleasure, it would make sense that it's used as a huge advertising ploy. Studies have shown that products being held or used by a societally attractive person have a much higher chance of being bought by a consumer. I'd love to give you some homework to go out and see how many ads, billboards, posters, etc. you see in the world in just one day that have either a young, attractive woman holding or otherwise engaging with a product (extra points if she's got big ole boobies) or a shirtless dude interacting with something that definitely does not require him to be shirtless. Just by reminding us that attractive people exist, our brain and limbic system are triggered and pleasured, and therefore reward us for engaging in something almost sexual, or reminiscent of that time when your brain dumped all those yay-chemicals into your bloodstream - you're essentially chasing that high constantly, even if you aren't conscious of it. And marketers and advertisers know this, maybe better than anybody! So the next time you want to buy something, really think about if it's you as a whole who would like to purchase the item, or if it's your limbic system trying to entice you into getting a little treat.

Biology, pleasure, and commercialism of sex are all big reasons why humans have sex. Of course, there are so many other reasons like revenge, anger, wanting connection, being bored, which are mostly emotional, or other reasons that are purely physical, like wanting to sleep better or just wanting to have your body go through something like pleasure. I think that the three I went over here are the biggest motivators, however, and hopefully will allow you to be a little less mystified by us wonderful mammalian weirdos that we are. Good luck in exploring your own limbic system, and have fun exploring!

~Allison