Hi folx! If you read Ask Allison #1, you know this is a space where I post questions asked to me anonymously and answer them. Thanks to those of you who've asked me questions this week! Dear Allison, What's your go-to toy recommendation and why? Looking to spice things up with my partner but not sure where to start! Sincerely, Too Many Options!!! Dear Too Many Options!!!, It sounds like you've got a good problem on your hands! I'll give you some categories to choose from, since I don't know exactly what you're looking for. Please note that I'm not sponsored by any toy company; these are curated from my experience as a coach and educator: Vibrators I love recommending CalExotic's Red Hot Spark to people with vulvas because it has many options for stimulation. Its shape can feel like a simulation of oral sex because the soft silicone tip can flick if you hold it in a certain way, or it can feel like a bullet vibrator with a very pinpointed sensation at the very tip, depending on the pressure you give behind it or the angle at which it touches the body. It has a wider base, which is good for body massage, but it is NOT safe for anal play because it doesn't have a flared base so please use this externally or vaginally ONLY. Dildos Depending on the size and shape you think you might want, Blush's Avant lineup has just about everything, and most of them are pride-colored, just for fun! They're made with a super-soft, patented silicone so they're sturdy, body-safe, and durable. They fit into most harnesses if you're interested in pegging, and can feel anywhere from heavy and filling to light and tantilizing. Some mimic human penises while others don't necessarily look human at all, if you're going for a more non-binary, non-conforming (to any race, species, etc.) type of vibe. They do run a bit high on price, but they're well worth the spend and will definitely last you. Strokers This category can get a bit sticky (pun absolutely intended) because most penis-owners are pretty particular about how they like their penis to be touched. I would recommend starting with something gentle, like the Tenga Egg strokers, then ramping it up if you or your partner are into this kind of stimulation. Because strokers aren't self-lubricating like vaginas, don't try to use them without lube of some sort. Most are very easily washable, so don't be too concerned about cleanup; just be sure to over-lube and err on the side of getting too much (because you can never really have way too much) and make sure you have excellent communication between you and your partner so you or they can tell the other how things are feeling. Anal Play Similar to the dildo recommendations, I would always recommend Blush's Avant lineup. They use the same silicone to make their anal toys, which come in a variety of shapes and sizes and colors. As with the strokers, use so much lube you run out (and then go get more!!) because the anus is NOT self-lubricating and you can do some real damage and cause some real pain that really is not fun to deal with if you don't use adequate lube. The anus is very very sensitive, so make sure to go super slowly, communicate with your partner, and use tactile skills like feeling if their or your sphincter is open and ready to receive more stimulation or not. Stay away from anal play if you or your partner is experiencing hemorrhoids or rectal tears. These can not only be horribly uncomfortable but can also lead to infection. Use graduating toys that go from very small sizes to larger ones and make sure anything you're using for anal play has a flared base and looks similar to a traffic cone. Silicone, glass, or metal are good materials to look for, as they are non-porous and generally waterproof, though you should double check the label to make sure. Metal and glass toys will make the user feel more full more quickly, so keep that in mind as well. Impact Play My all-time favorite impact play toy recommendation is a flogger. Similar to a whip, this toy has a small learning curve and comes in a variety of materials and sizes. It's known for its ability to sting a little, but not leave lasting marks like bruises or scratches. I don't tend to recommend paddles because they can really hurt if not used correctly and can cause some serious damage to the body, especially bruises and broken bones (seriously, being gentle with these things really matters) and nobody wants to end up on an episode of "Sex Sent Me to the ER". Bondage I would recommend wrist or ankle restraints before handcuffs or rope, especially for beginners in this area. They're much more comfortable than metal cuffs and don't tend to leave marks. They're also pretty easy to take on and off and come in a lot of different materials, like velvet, leather, faux fur, etc. which can be a really fun addition to your intimate life and help things go from good to EXXXTRA SPICY!!! They don't usually require a key, so they're a bit less risky than handcuffs. I hope this helps you with your sexplorations! I wish you all the best luck in finding all of the toys that give you exactly what you're looking for. ~Allison

Hi folx! If you read Ask Allison #1, you know this is a space where I post questions asked to me anonymously and answer them. Thanks to those of you who've asked me questions this week! Dear Allison, I identify as a straight cis male, but I think I'm curious about trying butt stuff. What's wrong with me? Sincerely, Scared Straight Dear Scared Straight, For everyone reading, "cis" is short for "cis-gender", which means you identify with the gender and genitals you were born with. Now, let's talk about butt stuff! First of all, enjoying anal stimulation doesn't define your sexuality. Being attracted to any other gender other than the opposite cis-gender of your own gender is generally classified as being "queer". Being attracted to the same gender as you is generally considered as being "gay". There are many exceptions to this, though. The male body has something which you've probably heard of called the prostate gland. This is a walnut-sized part of the male anatomy that sits in the pelvis and can be reached (and stimulated) through the anus. Receiving touch can be really pleasurable for a lot of people who identify as men, but doesn't make them "gay" or not straight. In fact, a lot of men like stimulation on their penis as well as their prostate - it can enhance orgasm exponentially for some! So, all of this is to say that absolutely nothing is wrong with you. You were simply built with a pleasure spot that's only reachable through your bum-hole, so if you want to know what it's like to experiment with that, there's really only one way to go: up! Now, here's a word of caution on anal play: GO. SLOW. For the love of all things good (including your booty), please don't shove things up there if they don't want to go yet. And please start small. A finger wrapped in a condom works great. Then you can add another until you need to take it slower again. That leads me to... USE. LUBE. The anus, unlike the vagina, does NOT have its own lubricant and therefore is not slippery enough to provide adequate lubrication for penetration or any other kind of anal fun, for that matter. Do you and your bum a favor and get some lube, especially one that's formulated for anal play. Make sure you're using the right lube formula (like water-based) that is safe for the types of toys you're using. Remember that like degrades like, so don't use silicone-based lube on silicone toys or oil-based lube on latex condoms. Which brings me to... USE. CONDOMS. The anus, also unlike the vagina, has very thin walls and doesn't have its own self-cleaning mechanisms to defend against infections. This is just one of the other multitude of reasons it's an excellent idea to use lube, but it's an even better idea to use condoms. Condoms, when used correctly, can be up to 99% effective at preventing STIs, and some of the scariest ones at that like HIV/AIDS, HPV, and others. And, if you happen to run into a "chocolate surprise", the toys (or penis/es) you're using won't end up chocolate-flavored as well. RELAX!!! Your anus is a bundle of super-tight muscles for a very good reason. Try taking some deep breaths and play with the external parts before trying to insert anything. Your body needs to know that that kind of touch is safe and, if you want to go further, welcomed (eventually). Just take your time and try not to set expectations for yourself, or a partner, if you're not flying solo. Do not ever. EVER. EVER!!!! use toys without a "flared" base. They CAN and WILL get sucked into your body and you will have to take a very embarrassing trip to the ER to get them removed very uncomfortably, both emotionally and physically. Just stick to toys that are meant to go up there and you'll be fine, as long as they're made of body-safe material like silicone, metal, or glass. Heavy = full. Toys that are made of metal or glass will make you feel more full more quickly, so especially take it slower with these guys and don't ever forget your lube! Lube way more than you think, too. Get it everywhere. I hope this information has been helpful! As always, feel free to get in touch with me with any questions. Good luck with your sexpeditions! ~Allison

Hey, y'all! If you missed out on the last one, this is your reminder to get tickets for my workshop on September 27th, 2024! Find all the details below! When: September 27th, 2024, time TBD Where: Mystique Lingerie 2700 S College Ave Suite 165 Fort Collins, CO 80525 What it's about: This workshop will cover what to do when you feel like the spark you had isn't quite as strong. Feeling like a spark has dwindled is an extraordinarily common challenge, and not a lot of folx know where to turn when it starts to happen because it can feel really overwhelming and scary, especially if you've been in a long-term relationship/marriage and noticed things just aren't quite as spicy as they once were. We'll learn about some different communication tactics to help get some convos facilitated, talk about some tips and tricks to use at home (hint: it involves getting naked together!), and do some brief anatomy lessons to make sure you're reaching all the right places when you go spelunking. As with all of my workshops, this is a safe space where anyone of all genders, ethnicities, ages, backgrounds, races, relationship statuses, and cultures can come together and learn about their sexualities as they pertain to the kink world. If you are under 16 years old, please bring an adult with you who will act as your parent or guardian. Here's a link to get tickets! https://www.mystiquelingeriefoco.com/products/rediscovering-desire-pleasure If you have any questions, please reach out to me! I hope to see you all there! ~Allison

Allison graduated from Colorado State University with a B.S. in Psychology and a B.A. in Ethnic Studies. Along the way, she found her passion in sex coaching through a peer education group and discovered the impact a sex-positive conversation can have. Learning By Heart I graduated from Colorado State University (CSU) with a B.S. in Psychology and a B.A. in Ethnic Studies. Along the way, I encountered a peer education group called Creating Respect, Educating Wellness (by and for) Students (or CREWS) and found my true passion for helping others discover how they can be less intimidated about talking about, engaging in, or learning about sexual activities. I became a certified peer educator through a program offered at CSU and I have been talking with students about safer sex ever since! Learn More About My Passion and Background That's cool, but what other hobbies & passions do you have? Although talking about sex and pleasure is my ultimate passion, I have multiple hobbies that keep my life balance in check. These include (but are not limited to) socializing with any dogs, particularly my own, hiking, being in nature, knitting, singing, cooking, learning new languages, and traveling. I lived in Switzerland for a year when I was 5 and I frequent the land of bread, wine, and cheese every year to be with friends and family and enjoy life’s simpler pleasures such as floating down the Rhein River on a hot summer day and meditating on the complexities of a crusty bread or salty cheese. Chocolate is my one, true love and I find myself never having enough, though I buy skads with every visit to the store. Navigating through my ADHD led me to discover that knitting holds multiple benefits for me, including stress relief, a way to keep movement in my body when paying attention (it got me through 95% of my college courses!) and allows me to focus when my mind wants to wander. It's something I love to do in my free time as well, and I intend to keep teaching friends and family how to create knitted wonders the same way my grandmother taught me when I was 8 years old, sitting on her lap, trying not to stab myself repeatedly with the needles. Music has also always been a passion of mine - I have a professional music career as a soloist as well as a small vocal coaching studio, and I taught classes at the Community College of Aurora as well. I found my love for Zimbabwean music when I was 7, and haven't put down the marimba mallets or hosho (traditional shakers) yet! It All Started When... At 2 years old, I asked my mother what a tampon was, allowing my curiosity to guide me. I found my proclivity through my undergraduate years, one day realizing how many friends of mine had come to me for sex advice. When I became a part of the CREWS family, it solidified my inkling that I needed to be in an environment where I could talk with others about their lives as sexual beings. My propensity to educate and myth-bust came from an extremely personal and traumatic situation in which I found out how little I had been educated in my current social climate around sex and sexuality. I was scared, had no idea where to turn for resources or the help I needed, and I wondered how many others had felt this same way. From that day on, I decided I never wanted anyone to ever feel the fear I felt from a lack of knowledge and conversation and committed myself to a future of helping educate as many as possible so that fear wouldn't exist anymore - only facts and resources. Certifications Public Health Bachelor's of Science, Psychology - Colorado State University Bachelor's of Arts, Ethnic Studies - Colorado State University Peer Educator Certification - Colorado State University via NASPA Music Instructor at Community College of Aurora Vocal Coach Instructor at Kutandara Marimba Studio and Fort Collins Marimba Studio Professional soloist Sextraordinary Coaching, LLC is a certified Safe Space and part of the Safe Space Alliance. To learn more about what that means, click here . "Allison has helped me understand my sexuality and answered all my weird, embarrassing, strange, and freaky questions. I never once felt weird, embarrassed, strange, or like a freak." S.I.* *Initials have been changed to protect identities

Sex coaches offer clients a safe space to discuss extremely personal topics like sex, sexuality, masturbation, fantasies, etc. As a sex coach, I guide clients to where they want to be in their sex life using educational techniques and facts as well as encouragement, acceptance, transparency, and open-minded discussions. What Is Sex Coaching? Sex coaches offer clients a safe space to discuss extremely personal topics like sex, sexuality, masturbation, fantasies, etc. As a sex coach, I guide clients to where they want to be in their sex life using educational techniques and facts as well as encouragement, acceptance, transparency, and open-minded discussions. This journey can be difficult for a lot of people to face on their own, and that’s the best part about having your own sex coach: you’re never on your own! I’ll be right beside you, helping you build your self-efficacy and self-confidence to get youto where you want to be. A Sextraordinary Session A typical session with me can include a wide variety of topics, discussions, and somatic work. You might find yourself beginning the session with asking a sex question, like “How does a rabbit vibrator actually work?”, and we will use that as our building block. To answer most questions like this, I love my clients to be able to touch and interact with toys, objects, somatic sensations, or body movements in an educative way instead of a lecture hall format. Typically, I give clients ample time to get to know toys while explaining the mechanisms behind why they feel the way they do. It is important to note that this does not include clients using the toys on their genitals during our sessions, though they are encouraged to go home and purchase their own if they feel called to do so. My sessions do not include any form of nudity or sexual acts. Asking For A Friend... Some of the main questions we will center our sessions around are: - How can I bring myself more pleasure and fulfillment in my sex life? - What else does my sexuality have to offer me? - What is already inside of me that I can pull out to make life tastier? Your personal growth and development are always the main focus. I accompany you, step-by-step to discuss, implement, and reach your goals as you enjoy the journey along the way. Hot Messes I believe that every human is a unique summation of wonderful, scary, beautiful, unpredictable, messy, amazing qualities. My sessions are, therefore, hardly uniform in concept - my aim is to discover a program that works best for you, with you, drawing from my background in psychology, ethnic studies, peer education, motivational interviewing, and other skills I have been fostering for several years. I use motivational interviewing and active listening as my main pillars, as well as facilitative and socratic discussions where you are in control and I’m in the coach’s chair, cheering you on and offering advice along the way.

Sextraordinary Coaching helps people learn how they can connect to themselves in new ways, understand their sexuality, and feel their best through education and pleasure-centered somatic work. The Full Story About Sextraordinary Coaching Watching myself grow and learn from others, find new joys, and discover my truths and passions every day is what makes life scrumptious, zesty, luscious, glorious, and splendorous to me. I am ever open to finding the pleasures in uncomfortability and learning to enjoy uncomfortable feelings, as they are almost always growing pains and can lead ultimately to blooming in ways we never imagined for ourselves. To learn more about Allison's story, click the tab at the top of the page! Mission I help people learn about how they can have the best sex possible for them, connect with partners, and feel their best through education and pleasure-centered somatic work. Loaded Questions -Do you find yourself wondering if you could be experiencing more pleasure? -Are you asking a lot of questions that you can’t find the answers to? -Are you seeking clarity in your sex life? -Are you bored with the sex you’re having? -Do you want to experience more desire, naturally? I welcome your challenges, your insecurities, and your struggles. I see your good intentions, and your doubts, and your inevitable question marks. Let’s come together and focus on getting you where you want to be. My goal is for you to leave every coaching conversation feeling renewed, re-energized, and re-ignited with passion, desire, and pleasure as well as confidence in yourself that you have all the strength that you need already inside of you. Pricing -One-on-one sessions, per minute......................................$2 -One-on-one sessions, one hour......................................$125 -Couples sessions, one hour............................................$250 -Couples (2+ attendees) sessions, two hours.................$375 Interested in a monthly or annual plan? Click Here to Look At Plans