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Hi folx! If you read Ask Allison #1, you know this is a space where I post questions asked to me anonymously and answer them. Thanks to those of you who've asked me questions this week! Dear Allison, What's your go-to toy recommendation and why? Looking to spice things up with my partner but not sure where to start! Sincerely, Too Many Options!!! Dear Too Many Options!!!, It sounds like you've got a good problem on your hands! I'll give you some categories to choose from, since I don't know exactly what you're looking for. Please note that I'm not sponsored by any toy company; these are curated from my experience as a coach and educator: Vibrators I love recommending CalExotic's Red Hot Spark to people with vulvas because it has many options for stimulation. Its shape can feel like a simulation of oral sex because the soft silicone tip can flick if you hold it in a certain way, or it can feel like a bullet vibrator with a very pinpointed sensation at the very tip, depending on the pressure you give behind it or the angle at which it touches the body. It has a wider base, which is good for body massage, but it is NOT safe for anal play because it doesn't have a flared base so please use this externally or vaginally ONLY. Dildos Depending on the size and shape you think you might want, Blush's Avant lineup has just about everything, and most of them are pride-colored, just for fun! They're made with a super-soft, patented silicone so they're sturdy, body-safe, and durable. They fit into most harnesses if you're interested in pegging, and can feel anywhere from heavy and filling to light and tantilizing. Some mimic human penises while others don't necessarily look human at all, if you're going for a more non-binary, non-conforming (to any race, species, etc.) type of vibe. They do run a bit high on price, but they're well worth the spend and will definitely last you. Strokers This category can get a bit sticky (pun absolutely intended) because most penis-owners are pretty particular about how they like their penis to be touched. I would recommend starting with something gentle, like the Tenga Egg strokers, then ramping it up if you or your partner are into this kind of stimulation. Because strokers aren't self-lubricating like vaginas, don't try to use them without lube of some sort. Most are very easily washable, so don't be too concerned about cleanup; just be sure to over-lube and err on the side of getting too much (because you can never really have way too much) and make sure you have excellent communication between you and your partner so you or they can tell the other how things are feeling. Anal Play Similar to the dildo recommendations, I would always recommend Blush's Avant lineup. They use the same silicone to make their anal toys, which come in a variety of shapes and sizes and colors. As with the strokers, use so much lube you run out (and then go get more!!) because the anus is NOT self-lubricating and you can do some real damage and cause some real pain that really is not fun to deal with if you don't use adequate lube. The anus is very very sensitive, so make sure to go super slowly, communicate with your partner, and use tactile skills like feeling if their or your sphincter is open and ready to receive more stimulation or not. Stay away from anal play if you or your partner is experiencing hemorrhoids or rectal tears. These can not only be horribly uncomfortable but can also lead to infection. Use graduating toys that go from very small sizes to larger ones and make sure anything you're using for anal play has a flared base and looks similar to a traffic cone. Silicone, glass, or metal are good materials to look for, as they are non-porous and generally waterproof, though you should double check the label to make sure. Metal and glass toys will make the user feel more full more quickly, so keep that in mind as well. Impact Play My all-time favorite impact play toy recommendation is a flogger. Similar to a whip, this toy has a small learning curve and comes in a variety of materials and sizes. It's known for its ability to sting a little, but not leave lasting marks like bruises or scratches. I don't tend to recommend paddles because they can really hurt if not used correctly and can cause some serious damage to the body, especially bruises and broken bones (seriously, being gentle with these things really matters) and nobody wants to end up on an episode of "Sex Sent Me to the ER". Bondage I would recommend wrist or ankle restraints before handcuffs or rope, especially for beginners in this area. They're much more comfortable than metal cuffs and don't tend to leave marks. They're also pretty easy to take on and off and come in a lot of different materials, like velvet, leather, faux fur, etc. which can be a really fun addition to your intimate life and help things go from good to EXXXTRA SPICY!!! They don't usually require a key, so they're a bit less risky than handcuffs. I hope this helps you with your sexplorations! I wish you all the best luck in finding all of the toys that give you exactly what you're looking for. ~Allison

Hi folx! If you read Ask Allison #1, you know this is a space where I post questions asked to me anonymously and answer them. Thanks to those of you who've asked me questions this week! Dear Allison, I identify as a straight cis male, but I think I'm curious about trying butt stuff. What's wrong with me? Sincerely, Scared Straight Dear Scared Straight, For everyone reading, "cis" is short for "cis-gender", which means you identify with the gender and genitals you were born with. Now, let's talk about butt stuff! First of all, enjoying anal stimulation doesn't define your sexuality. Being attracted to any other gender other than the opposite cis-gender of your own gender is generally classified as being "queer". Being attracted to the same gender as you is generally considered as being "gay". There are many exceptions to this, though. The male body has something which you've probably heard of called the prostate gland. This is a walnut-sized part of the male anatomy that sits in the pelvis and can be reached (and stimulated) through the anus. Receiving touch can be really pleasurable for a lot of people who identify as men, but doesn't make them "gay" or not straight. In fact, a lot of men like stimulation on their penis as well as their prostate - it can enhance orgasm exponentially for some! So, all of this is to say that absolutely nothing is wrong with you. You were simply built with a pleasure spot that's only reachable through your bum-hole, so if you want to know what it's like to experiment with that, there's really only one way to go: up! Now, here's a word of caution on anal play: GO. SLOW. For the love of all things good (including your booty), please don't shove things up there if they don't want to go yet. And please start small. A finger wrapped in a condom works great. Then you can add another until you need to take it slower again. That leads me to... USE. LUBE. The anus, unlike the vagina, does NOT have its own lubricant and therefore is not slippery enough to provide adequate lubrication for penetration or any other kind of anal fun, for that matter. Do you and your bum a favor and get some lube, especially one that's formulated for anal play. Make sure you're using the right lube formula (like water-based) that is safe for the types of toys you're using. Remember that like degrades like, so don't use silicone-based lube on silicone toys or oil-based lube on latex condoms. Which brings me to... USE. CONDOMS. The anus, also unlike the vagina, has very thin walls and doesn't have its own self-cleaning mechanisms to defend against infections. This is just one of the other multitude of reasons it's an excellent idea to use lube, but it's an even better idea to use condoms. Condoms, when used correctly, can be up to 99% effective at preventing STIs, and some of the scariest ones at that like HIV/AIDS, HPV, and others. And, if you happen to run into a "chocolate surprise", the toys (or penis/es) you're using won't end up chocolate-flavored as well. RELAX!!! Your anus is a bundle of super-tight muscles for a very good reason. Try taking some deep breaths and play with the external parts before trying to insert anything. Your body needs to know that that kind of touch is safe and, if you want to go further, welcomed (eventually). Just take your time and try not to set expectations for yourself, or a partner, if you're not flying solo. Do not ever. EVER. EVER!!!! use toys without a "flared" base. They CAN and WILL get sucked into your body and you will have to take a very embarrassing trip to the ER to get them removed very uncomfortably, both emotionally and physically. Just stick to toys that are meant to go up there and you'll be fine, as long as they're made of body-safe material like silicone, metal, or glass. Heavy = full. Toys that are made of metal or glass will make you feel more full more quickly, so especially take it slower with these guys and don't ever forget your lube! Lube way more than you think, too. Get it everywhere. I hope this information has been helpful! As always, feel free to get in touch with me with any questions. Good luck with your sexpeditions! ~Allison

Hey, y'all! If you missed out on the last one, this is your reminder to get tickets for my workshop on September 27th, 2024! Find all the details below! When: September 27th, 2024, time TBD Where: Mystique Lingerie 2700 S College Ave Suite 165 Fort Collins, CO 80525 What it's about: This workshop will cover what to do when you feel like the spark you had isn't quite as strong. Feeling like a spark has dwindled is an extraordinarily common challenge, and not a lot of folx know where to turn when it starts to happen because it can feel really overwhelming and scary, especially if you've been in a long-term relationship/marriage and noticed things just aren't quite as spicy as they once were. We'll learn about some different communication tactics to help get some convos facilitated, talk about some tips and tricks to use at home (hint: it involves getting naked together!), and do some brief anatomy lessons to make sure you're reaching all the right places when you go spelunking. As with all of my workshops, this is a safe space where anyone of all genders, ethnicities, ages, backgrounds, races, relationship statuses, and cultures can come together and learn about their sexualities as they pertain to the kink world. If you are under 16 years old, please bring an adult with you who will act as your parent or guardian. Here's a link to get tickets! https://www.mystiquelingeriefoco.com/products/rediscovering-desire-pleasure If you have any questions, please reach out to me! I hope to see you all there! ~Allison

Group-based learning conversations based around a specific topic. Check out the list of 101s, yoga for sex, and more! Workshops Workshops are group-based learning conversations based around a specific topic. All workshops are open to everyone, regardless of gender expression, gender identity, gender assigned at birth, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, or religious background. All workshops are also open to all ages - I recommend youngsters come along as well, at parent/guardian discretion. Workshops do not include any nudity or sexual acts. *I am not sponsored by any toy or supplies comp any. I bring materials I have heard raving reviews on and done research for in order to best serve you the variety of toys and materials that exist.* Upcoming Workshops Pre- and Postpartum Intimacy With Julianne Curtis, doula with 20+ years experience Time and Date TBD Topics: -Inviting intimacy into your life during and after baby -Leaning into self-care -Learning about yourself and how you experience joys and pleasures with the changes that come with pregnancy -How your partner(s) can help you and get what they need Spring Into Deeper Intimacy: Erotic Blueprints and Attachment Styles with Paul Paiva, M.A., Enneagram Instructor March 11th, 2025, 6-9pm AND April 5th, 2025, 2-5pm School of Inner Health 7550 W Yale Ave, Suite B-204 Denver, CO 80227 *NOT a series, just the same workshop twice!* https://www.eventbrite.com/e/spring-into-deeper-relationship-navigating-intimacy-and-attachment-styles-tickets-1231787612909 Topics: -Exploring your desires and understanding your unique Erotic Blueprint -Learning about your attachment style and how it influences your intimacy -Fostering deeper connections through understanding yourself Finance and Intimacy With Krista Fleck, Financial Specialist Date, Time, and Location TBD Topics: -Empowering individuals through financial freedom -How financial freedom can create sexual freedom -Managing finances, lowering financial and emotional stress = more capacity for pleasure! BDSM 101 SERIES: B ondage With Charmaine Stattman Topics: -Rope-tying art forms like Shibari -Why humans enjoy bondage, especially surrounding sex -What bondage can do for you and your pleasure -Communication and consent basics for BDSM BDSM 101 SERIES: D ominance/Submission With Charmaine Stattman Topics: -How-to guide to in-depth, but beginner-friendly role-playing and power play -How mental kink (such as role-playing, power play, dominance/submission) impacts your pleasure -Communication and consent basics for BDSM BDSM 101 SERIES: S adism With Charmaine Stattman Topics: -How to give and take control -Learning about if/how you experience others' pleasure in pain -Communication and consent basics for BDSM -How to stay safe while experimenting BDSM 101 SERIES: M asochism With Charmaine Stattman Topics: -How to feel in control while relinquishing control -Learning about if/how you experience pleasure in pain -Communication and consent basics for BDSM -How to stay safe while experimenting Trauma-Informed Intimacy With Erin Berry, Relationship & Sex Coach Topics: -Self-care both in and out of relationships -Inviting gentleness into intimacy -Best practices for learning and respecting your boundaries Emotional Baggage and Intimacy With Mandy Garcia, energy healer Topics: -How to recognize and release stuck baggage -How to heal from stuck emotions around intimacy -Finding your capacity for pleasure while breaking down your own walls Past Workshops For Your Pleasure Saturday, November 18th, 2023 1-4pm Althea Center for Engaged Spirituality, Historic Library Topics: -Learning about your intimacy style through hands-on demos -Fostering intimacy and connection -Tips and tricks for metamorphosing pleasure, passion, and purpose Crazy Little Thing Called Love Sunday, February 11th, 2024 1-4pm Boulder Public Library, Main Branch, Boulder Creek Room Topics: -Learn about your intimacy style as well as your partner's -Foster connection in relationships -Find your magic and reignite the spark -Tips and tricks to take home and try out BDSM 101 March 26th, 2024 6-8pm Awakening Boutique Fort Collins, CO Topics: -Beginner-friendly education around restraint, sensation play, and impact play -Sensation play demo -Hands-on rope-tying lesson -Hands-on sensation and impact play lessons BDSM 101 Thursday, August 22nd, 2024 6-8pm Mystique Lingerie Topics: -Beginner-friendly education around restraint, sensation play, and impact play -Sensation play demo -Hands-on rope-tying lesson -Hands-on sensation and impact play lessons Mindful Sex Tuesday, September 10th, 2024 6:30-8:30pm Awakening Boutique, Denver Location Topics: -Understanding the mind-body connection to increase desire and pleasure -Finding ways to "turn off" the unwanted parts of our thoughts and "turn on" the thoughts that increase intimacy and pleasure -Create mental spaces that allow for feeling more free and welcoming safety and calmness into the bedroom (or kitchen, bathroom, living room, etc.) Mindful Sex Thursday, September 19th, 2024 6:30-8:30pm Awakening Boutique, Fort Collins Location Topics: -Understanding the mind-body connection to increase desire and pleasure -Finding ways to "turn off" the unwanted parts of our thoughts and "turn on" the thoughts that increase intimacy and pleasure -Create mental spaces that allow for feeling more free and welcoming safety and calmness into the bedroom (or kitchen, bathroom, living room, etc.) Rediscovering Desire & Pleasure Friday, September 27th, 2024 Mystique Lingerie Topics: -Enhancing connection between partners -Reigniting a spark that's not as strong as it once was -Learning ways to communicate needs and wants BDSM 101 October 22nd, 2024 8:30-8:30pm Awakening Boutique, Fort Collins Location 112 E Olive Street, Fort Collins, CO, 80525 Topics: -Beginner-friendly education around restraint, sensation play, and impact play -Sensation play demo -Hands-on rope-tying lesson -Hands-on sensation and impact play lessons Mindful Sex November 12th, 2024 6:30-8pm Awakening Boutique, Fort Collins Location 112 E Olive Street, Fort Collins, CO, 80525 Topics: -Understanding the mind-body connection to increase desire and pleasure -Finding ways to "turn off" the unwanted parts of our thoughts and "turn on" the thoughts that increase intimacy and pleasure -Create mental spaces that allow for feeling more free and welcoming safety and calmness into the bedroom (or kitchen, bathroom, living room, etc.) Toxin' 'Bout Love: Optimizing Hormones for Deeper Intimacy With Lisa Broberg, functional RN January 23rd, 2025 6:30-8pm **VIRTUAL** Check out this link for info: https://buy.stripe.com/3cseXD7dk15Z3kIbIM Topics: -Hormone regulation with diet and healthy living -How detox-ing can allow for more pleasure -The effects that healthy living has on intimacy -Whole-body wellness = whole-body pleasure Anatomy of Pleasure - ***FREE*** With Julie Wallace, PT, DPT, CLT February 13th, 2025, 6:30pm Insight Pelvic Health 2008 Blue Mesa Ct. Loveland, CO 80538 https://www.insightpelvichealth.com/programs/p/e77ldi1892gdkrkx9usd66t4wouxr5 Topics: -Unlocking your anatomy to experience more pleasure -Learning how to pleasure partners -Learning how to disconnect from work stress, family stress, etc. and slip into bliss both mentally and physically If you'd like to host or schedule a workshop for a priva te event, please fill out the contact form at the bottom of any page. Thank you! Click Here to Learn More About 101s 101s 101s are beginner-level workshops intended to help you get your feet (and other sensitive body parts) wet and learn all about the basics for each topic. They are hands-on, group workshops in which you get to touch different toys and get a feel for whether or not you might be interested in giving them a try. All workshops are open to everyone, regardless of gender expression, gender identity, gender assigned at birth, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, or religious background. They are labeled with physical genital names to give you an idea of the types of toys and mechanics we will focus on in that particular workshop, and are not intended to be limiting for this reason. If you or your partner want to discover more about a different type of genitalia that you or your partner may or may not have, I encourage you to do so by signing up for the respective workshop. All workshops are a judgment-free zone with no exceptions. Sextracurricular Activities Designed to enhance the sex you already are having, these will give you the confidence boost you've been looking for as well as a focus on the mind-body connection. Click the button to learn more! Click Me! Sexercises Sexercises focus on movement and somatic sensations, learning about how your body and mind work together to create the most pleasure for you! Click the button below to learn more! Click Me! Parties Looking for something different? Click the button below to learn about how I can help you spice up your party and create an unforgettable experience for you and your guests! Click Me!

Explore a list of workshops that focus on movement and gentle exercises to bring you the most satisfaction and pleasure possible! Sextracurricular Acvitities These workshops are one step up from the basics, but are still perfect for beginners. They are designed to enhance the sex you are already having or give you the confidence to get yourself back out there and experience better sex! All workshops are intended for everyone, regardless of gender expression, gender identity, gender assigned at birth, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, or religious background. Mindful Sex Workshop This workshop is designed for people who want to experience fuller pleasure. More and more research is constantly being done to examine the role of the mind in sex, specifically a relaxed, mindful state of mind. The research tells us that mindful sex has a truckload of benefits, not just for you but for your partner and your future self, too! Join in this workshop to learn all about those benefits and how you can have better sex and experience more pleasure using mindfulness techniques. LIKE MIND CONTROL!! Orgasm Du Jour Workshop How you experience your orgasms is vastly different day-to-day, depending on so many factors! Even what you have for breakfast can influence how you have orgasms. This workshop will walk you through tools for how you can have the best orgasm for you, today, because every day holds a slightly different outcome and it can change based on what you’re feeling or noticing within yourself. It’s important to recognize this in order to have the best orgasms and allow grace and acceptance for however your orgasms will be. Come and learn about how your body wants to orgasm and find your recipe for the best orgasm for you, today! Pleasure-Focused Sex Workshop Pleasure and sex can be directly linked, but sometimes it can be difficult to experience the fullest sense of pleasure for ourselves based on our day-to-day stressors like work, family, etc. This workshop offers tools to help you reconnect with yourself and really focus on feeling pleasure, not orgasm - something we often forget to think about. Orgasm doesn’t always have to be the goal in any sexual act, but pleasure (amongst other things) should be! Join me in this workshop to learn about how to feel all sorts of pleasure from skin-tingling pleasure to mental bliss. Sexercises This category of workshops offers a more somatic and movement-based approach to bettering your sex life. We will discuss some of these in detail during private sessions as well, and practice always makes almost perfect. Yoga For Sex Yoga for sex is a one-hour yoga session that allows you to be mindful and feel your body while gaining strength, endurance, and muscle movements that can make sex easier if you’re feeling a little creaky. For all ages, yoga for sex helps you find inner peace and inner pleasure before even getting to the bedroom so you can experience a fuller sense of pleasure when you do have sex. Benefits of yoga for sex include increased endurance, increased flexibility, increased sensation and pleasure, increased sense of peace and stillness, better orgasms, and more! Movements include kegel exercises, pelvic floor exercises, stretching and flow practices, and others. Every movement can be adapted to fit your body’s needs, so don’t worry if you feel like you can’t do what others are doing - we will find a way for you to get the most out of yoga for sex in a way that’s right for your body’s needs!

Experience and Expertise When I was 19, I was put at risk for contracting HIV. I've always been close with my family, but because none of us had had comprehensive sexual health education growing up, I had no one to turn to for facts or treatment or testing options. Like any good teenager, I turned to the internet for answers and wound up speaking with an expert at a government-funded sexual health education resource. Crying on the phone, I realized I never wanted any other person to experience the paralyzing fear that wracked my body. I decided I needed to create a safe, educationally-based space where anybody could seek answers for anything. I became a certified peer educator and sexual health instructor so that I could give back to the community and assure that all people have a place to go when they need answers. Work Experience Bachelor's of Science: Psychology Bachelor's of Arts: Ethnic Studies Certified Peer Educator - NASPA Planned Parenthood Comprehensive Sex Education for Educators WHO Certifications I went into my undergraduate years at Colorado State University (CSU) as a declared Psychology major. I completed research projects, papers, and studies and chose to stay with a General Psychology concentration in order to be able to explore the most avenues in my studies. I declared a minor in Ethnic Studies my second year and declared an Ethnic Studies major my third year, graduating after 4.5 years with both a Bachelor's of Science and Bachelor's of Arts degree. During my time at CSU, I joined a student-led, student-facilitated, university-backed program called CREWS (Creating a Respectful Environment With/for Students), a peer educator program focused on educating students about safer sex and drug use (including alcohol) and practices surrounding risk reduction. I earned my Peer Education Certificate through NASPA, an organization focused on fostering inclusive and supportive environments in higher education. The NASPA certification covered important areas such as motivational interviewing, conflict resolution, and the Stages of Change model. During my second year in CREWS, I co-taught the NASPA course and led activities on- and off-campus to help engage students in learning about safer sexual practices like condom use and STI prevention. Through Planned Parenthood's online certification program, I earned these certificates: Effective Sex Education Inclusive Sex Education Trauma-Informed Sex Education Supporting Healthier Relationships as an Educator Discussion and Answering Difficult Questions Sexual Harassment for Educators Through WHO's online certification program, I earned these certificates: Counseling on Contraceptives CREWS Peer Educator, Facilitator, Organizer CREWS peer education platform allowed me to engage with students from all over CSU's campuses through various activities such as Sex Trivia, condom roses, football game merch tables, and more. I co-taught the NASPA course and facilitated many of the activities I listed above throughout my time as an active CREWS member, allowing me to get hands-on experience discussing uncomfortable topics, finding solutions, and providing resources with youth and adults alike. Let's Get Social